i don't wanna leave here, but i don't wanna stay
feels like pinching to me either way
and the places i long for the most are the places where i've been
they are calling out to me like a long lost friend

it's not about losing faith, it's not about trust
it's all about comfortable when you move so much
and the place i was wasn't perfect, but i had found a way to live
and it wasn't milk or honey, but then neither is this

i've been painting pictures of egypt
leaving out what it lacks
cause the future feels so hard
and i wanna go back
but the places that used to fit me
cannot hold the things i've learned
and those roads were closed off to me
while my back was turned

the past is so tangible, i know it by heart
familiar things are never easy to discard
i was dying for some freedom but now i hesitate to go
i am caught between the promise and the things i know

if it comes too quick, i may not recognize it
is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
if it comes too quick, i may not appreciate it
is that the reason behind all this time and sand?...

~sara groves

this song has played over my ipod on each of the 3 trips i've made now from cedarville to nashville...and i don't think i could say it any better. in talking to a friend the other day, i found myself explaining my life right now as being in the wilderness...i know that i have the promises of peace and milk and honey in front of me...but that seems so distant as i wrestle through the "sand" that i can so clearly see all around me...

so i learn each day more and more to cling to the promises of my Faithful Savior, who has never failed me and certainly never will! every day He shows Himself so true to me...

i started work at starbucks today...spent five hours learning about how to clean and be nice to people. it was not especially exciting, but i know i will like it there...all of the "partners" i have met so far are so nice and helpful. tomorrow i will learn the espresso bar...so don't come into the maryland farms starbucks if you want a good cup of coffee! :-)

thanks for those of you who are reading...and praying...you have no idea how the Lord is answering...