ready to take off...

whenever i fly, i always try and predict the exact moment that the plane is going to leave the runway... and i never can. all of a sudden i'm in the air, looking down at everything, and it blows my mind. i kind of think my life right now is like a plane picking up speed on a runway... and sooner or later it's going to take off - without me predicting it, realizing it, or understanding it. i'll just find myself looking down at the beauty all around me, my mind blown.

based on where i've been the last few months, i would like to believe that i can only go up from here... my 4-month trial run of nashville (which i didn't tell many people about) is finished... as i fly back out there tomorrow, i know i will be committing... and i couldn't be more excited for it. i am in the midst of such a beautiful adventure, and i loove the mystery... i love not knowing what's next, not knowing how i'm going to pay the next couple bills... and knowing the One who takes care of it all, even when i don't deserve it. i especially love that He doesn't leave it all up to me, or we all know that things would be quite a mess.

i'm gaining momentum... pretty soon you'll be looking up at me as i fly...

hanging out where i don't belong...

right now i am sitting in the midst of a snowstorm in cedarville... and realizing i have already forgotten how much i do not enjoy winter. people in nashville have been freaking out when the weather drops below 60 degrees... well take heart my southern friends, it could be worse. i do miss cedarville, but not cedarville winters... ugh.

the first couple times i came back up to cedarville after moving away left me confused because i knew i didn't belong here anymore, but i hated that. being up here this time, i know that i don't belong here but i am definitely to the point of being totally okay with that. the Lord has moved me into a new and exciting season of my life, and as much as i miss cedarville and the community and fellowship i experienced here, i know that He has something greater ahead of me. i can't try and hold onto this anymore. that isn't to say that these are not still my best friends and my best memories and the best years of my life so far, but i just know that there comes a time to accept the fact that life changes.

and life certainly is changing. but i couldn't ask for anything better right now... i have never felt more free. free to pursue whatever the Lord lays on my heart, free to go wherever that takes me... such freedom has only come through a long struggle and much pain... that does still linger, but is fading steadily day by day as i head full-force into the adventure that is still ahead...