looking up...

i might have said this on here before, but i really believe my life mirrors the seasons. at least that has been the case over the last couple of years. autumn always starts out beautiful, full of changes... but then at some point everything is stripped away and i'm left bare, exposed to the elements... things get cold. but in the midst of the gray, there is a hope of spring... and then it comes. what had died is now revived, renewed, and seems to be more beautiful than ever, simply because we had to wait so much for it. spring has come in nashville, and in my heart.

i got the awesome opportunity to record with nicole c. mullen last week for her new album... i did a small cello part and some background vocals for one song... i got to work with a couple amazing and experienced producers, and i learned so much, just in that one session. they passed on a lot of wisdom about how to get into the industry carefully and with integrity... i will be sure to let you know when the album comes out. watch for it in july. :-D

i'm also gonna be blessed to get three or four of my own songs produced soon... hopefully it won't be too long, and you'll see them up on my myspace.

i have just been sitting in awe lately... i by no means am ready to quit starbucks and do music full-time, but the connections i have made and the way some things have fallen into place blows me away... and takes the credit completely away from me... it has so clearly been the hand of my Lord working these things for me, and i cannot praise Him enough!

just a kid doing grown-up things...

i woke up this morning and just had one of those moments where i felt 15 again, in a grown-up world. i even told my roommate that i felt like it was weird that i had my own apartment... some days i can't believe how quickly this point in life has come. but i must say i am enjoying it so so much!

i met with the women's director at my church (Strong Tower Bible Church) this morning to talk about how and where i can get plugged in there, and just to get to know her... and it was a good chance to reflect back on my time in nashville so far and how the Lord has orchestrated things. i am overwhelmed when i look at all i have already been through and where i am right now... i never dreamed that i would be this far along after 7 months.

last sunday night i played in a benefit concert for tornado victims... i was there to play with sammy sylvester, a producer i met at my church... and the other artists for the concert were tommy sims, vince gill and amy grant. it was an in-the-round kind of show, and i ended up just playing along with everyone's songs here and there. so i have now played with amy grant... and vince gill... it didn't hit me for a couple of days how exciting that is. :-)






i am going to start playing with sammy as he gets gigs, and i am really excited for it. he is passionate about there being a cause behind the music - raising awareness or money for ministries, people in need, whatever... i am excited for the chance to tie the great passions in my life together - music and ministry... it's too much to put into writing here, but i am so in awe of God's blessing on my life right now. things are really moving. :-)

that's all for now... i couldn't ask to be in a better place right now.

new crib

so as of today i have been in my first apartment for a week. my rommie katie and i are having a blast so far. basically every piece of furniture we have is hand-me-down, but it gives the place such character (for now). as i write this, i am paying for laundry for the first time in my life... lame! but part of the growing up process, i guess... or something...

lots going on for me, in addition to the apartment... i am playing cello at my church tomorrow! it is my first time playing there, and i am really excited... as well as a little nervous, because i will be playing with some awesome musicians, and in the hearing of some awesome musicians... but it's definitely something the Lord has opened up for me, and i am so excited to be able to worship Him from the stage again. tuesday i have another gig, playing a couple of songs with an up-and-coming artist in christian music, jonny diaz (pronounced dye-az). you can check out his stuff at jonnydiaz.com. he has a good thing going, and i'm excited to meet him and be creative for a couple of his songs! later that day i have a session also! it's funny how things come in waves... i feel overwhelmed a bit, but it is all really good stuff!

the Lord continues to keep me very mindful of His incredible goodness all the time... He orchestrates things so perfectly, and although i still struggle with questions over where i am in life right now, i am always able to look back and remember that my God has NEVER failed... for thousands of years past with my brothers and sisters, all 22 of my years on this earth, and all eternity past. wow. there is still pain i deal with daily, but His face outshines it all... He holds me even when i am so, just... stupid. wow.

my heart spins in circles.

all at once your city crumbles like babylon
even the gardens you've been hanging on disappear before your eyes
take time, let the words sink in before you say your mind
heaven knows we all get lost sometimes
you will find your way back

wounded, you let your guard down
you feel stupid
you wish you never would have trusted your heart in someone else's hands
but it's all okay
i think you may have made the best mistake
i think we're made to give ourselves away
cause there's no other way to live

jenny lynn, i wish that i had your thin skin
i wish that i could let the love right in
maybe i'd rather feel the pain
cause freedom is a naked heart that always dares to give
a willingness to let the tenderness be taken as it may

-"jenny lynn" by katie herzig

at certain times in my life, including recently, i have been well aware of my constant emotional fluctuation that makes me a pretty intense and sometimes hard-to-deal-with person. within a matter of minutes my emotions can span the whole gammut... angry to sad to ecstatic, with everything in between.

and while i sometimes wonder if it's a curse to feel so deeply, all the time... i really can't help but be thankful for it... my life would be so much less full, less exciting, if i didn't feel as deeply. when i fall in love, i fall very deeply. and when i'm angry, i'm very angry. when i'm happy, i'm off the walls. i suck at hiding it, and i will always be this way. and i'm thankful. my life is so full.

on another note alltogether... i am excited to be playing with my friends tal and acacia, who just got signed to provident records. they are super talented and have tons of potential, and they are letting me tag along for their next gig... i am getting a chance to be as creative as ever on my cello, and i'm so excited. they are awesome girls, and you should check them out:
www.myspace.com/talandacacia
http://www.kumi-music.com/

i'm a TV star.

okay not really... but this is the closest i'll ever come.

www.thestellarawards.com

take a look and see when it's playing in your city... watch for smokie norful's performance. i had fun! :-)

my heart is so alive...

occassionally someone will tell me that i should update this more... so i am updating now just for the sake of an update. this scares me a lot because i don't want to be boring... in other words, leave me a comment if you're not bored after this post. :-)

my time in nashville since christmas has already started to fly... i am busy trying to get things ready to move into an apartment at the beginning of february with my most wonderful friend here in nashville! i have been trying to sift through a lot of my stuff and simplify my life. i hate having stuff. the more i have, the more i feel tied down... i was talked into getting renter's insurance today, but only because in the long run it actually makes my car insurance cheaper (don't ask). but i've always thought renter's insurance was silly because if all my stuff burned up in a fire, i think i would only feel more free!

i was extremely blessed by a random visit from a dear friend today, and we spent a lot of time just talking about everything that the Lord is working in us, as we always do. i think one of the healthiest things we can do is to look back... not for the sake of remembering past mistakes or hurts, but for the sake of recalling the Lord's incredible faithfulness in every situation we've been through. i pulled out an old journal (i'm an avid journaler) and read where i was a year ago today. i was completely overwhelmed to read of the work that the Lord was doing a year ago... and again overwhelmed when i even think of what He's done for me today. His goodness to me is beyond my comprehension... in pain, in heartache, in victory and great joy - He is always good. it sounds so cliche, but i can't get past it.

every day now comes with new dreams... dreams of what may happen here in nashville, dreams of what will be next, dreams of being a part of the solution to the problems in our broken world that weigh so heavily on my heart each day... and i can't wait for the Lord to further reveal His goodness as He ties my passions and His will together each day...

ready to take off...

whenever i fly, i always try and predict the exact moment that the plane is going to leave the runway... and i never can. all of a sudden i'm in the air, looking down at everything, and it blows my mind. i kind of think my life right now is like a plane picking up speed on a runway... and sooner or later it's going to take off - without me predicting it, realizing it, or understanding it. i'll just find myself looking down at the beauty all around me, my mind blown.

based on where i've been the last few months, i would like to believe that i can only go up from here... my 4-month trial run of nashville (which i didn't tell many people about) is finished... as i fly back out there tomorrow, i know i will be committing... and i couldn't be more excited for it. i am in the midst of such a beautiful adventure, and i loove the mystery... i love not knowing what's next, not knowing how i'm going to pay the next couple bills... and knowing the One who takes care of it all, even when i don't deserve it. i especially love that He doesn't leave it all up to me, or we all know that things would be quite a mess.

i'm gaining momentum... pretty soon you'll be looking up at me as i fly...